Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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