You're completely useless in the revolution.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i barfeds in our rink
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Randomize
