why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
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She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.