I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.