I'm pants shitting drunk right now
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months