What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
