Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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