he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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