If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
