glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
