I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
NoShamevember. You game?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
