There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize