...so i touched it.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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