I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Why is there bacon in the couch?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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