Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Someone came in the potted fern
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
