He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize