have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
