Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I want her autograph on my taint
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
