I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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