am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
