She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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