how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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