if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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