wakey wakey hands off snakey
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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