So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
