I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He passed out mid-signature
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
