I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
