"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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