No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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