You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
