my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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