I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
