Have you finally orgasmed yet?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
