Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
