just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize