Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
