HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
