3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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