he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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