if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
