wat bout pragnant strippers??
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
nutella sex= disaster
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
