alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
