All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
