Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
