did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
