i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you win again, gameday.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
