About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
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