I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Randomize
