ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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