she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
