ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We left an ass print on the piano.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
