I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He had one of those small greek statue penises
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
