i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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