Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
