if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
