Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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