It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
