The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my shit smells like andre
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Are we still banned from the library?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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