I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
