Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
