you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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