Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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