i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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